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Advocating for Wholeness by Kara L.C. Jones

"If we want family and friends to rediscover the 'whole' of who we are after the death of a child, we have to stop being complicit with the demands that we put on happy masks. This doesn't mean that we are constantly morose or anything. This doesn't mean that we are using baby dolls pretending it is the child we lost and mothering the toy in some sort of disconnect from reality. It simply means that we be allowed to feel whatever we feel in the moment without censorship."

The Anguish of a Sudden Death by JoAnne Funch

"Sudden death leaves you numb. I never got to say good bye, I so desperately wanted to hear his voice one more time. I wanted to feel his hands touch my face and hold my hand. I wanted to feel his strong embrace and see is loving smile. I also wanted to take back every cross word I ever used, I wanted to have one more day, just one more day."

Death and Grief by David Pierce

"Each person grieves uniquely. No matter how much we think we know about what the other person is feeling, or how they ought to get better, we don't always really know, and by interferring in their bereavement with our suggestions and rememdies we may be doing them more harm than good."

The "Elephant" That is Grief by Deb Kosmer

"I was all alone with an elephant. I realized it was totally up to me to eliminate him or make him a manageable size that I could live with. When my family refused to listen, I had tried to talk with my friends about the elephant but not even one was interested, if anything they seemed apprehensive. I wondered, could it be they had their own elephants?"

A Good Day in the Life of a Grieving Widower by Pierre Milot, Ph.D.

"Now, in an effort to heal my shattered life, I'm slowly learning to redefine my sense of self, my identity in this strange and scary new world without her, to think in terms of ''I'' instead of ''We'', while at the same time keep her memory alive in my heart."

Hiding Places by Deb Kosmer

"Today as I thought about my own grief and yours I was reminded of this game and how many of us still play it in our adult life."

Keep Child’s Memory Alive Through Words and Celebrations by Louise Lagerman

"This is for all the parents new on this grief journey. We all grieve differently and there is no time table on grief, but for me, at first I could not feel any joy or happiness. All I felt were small moments of comfort. So I did little, simple things to bring myself comfort. Here are some things I did and you can do as well to bring yourself moments of comfort...."

Lessons Learned From Loss: Asking For Help by JoAnne Funch

"I eventually learned to ask for help without guilt or shame. I continue the practices years later because I no longer feel a need to struggle when people who love me would be honored to lend a hand. What a gift this knowledge has been and in turn I have paid it forward whenever my skills can lend a helping hand to those I see in need."

Questions by Shannon Seeley Walters

"Funeral arrangements are bizarre. You're in the most pain you've been in your life, your mind is reeling with the unbelief of it all, the shock makes your brain stick and some guy in a suit is guiding you to make very personal decisions for the most important person in your life who you just watched die and Funeral Guy has never even seen you before and never met your Mom. How does he know anything about her, or me, or what we need right now? It's all so mechanical and impersonal. It's cold and scary and feels like a train careening down the tracks and there's nothing you can do to stop it before it plunges offnthat cliff and the decisions you've made are permanent and unchanging. Like death."

Signs and Dreams From Our Children by Louise Lagerman

"Finally a green balloon (my daughter’s favorite color) floated right down beside me. I was so excited and thrilled because I knew this balloon was from my deceased daughter. On the string of the balloon there was a note. I remember the words so vividly."

What to Say to Those in Grief by David Pierce

What to Say to Those in Grief [The Essentials] by David Pierce

"Knowing what to say to those in grief may not help them feel better. However, your words and actions just might make a positive difference in their lives. Saying the right things might help you feel better, too."

Why isn't it just fine to feel what you feel? by Kara L.C. Jones

"Part of the reason I do the heART work I do now is because breaking the silence on these ideas is a passion for me. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Even when the world seems to conspire to tell you that the anger is too angry or the sadness is too much, or to suggest you must 'get better' now or 'fix things' or whatever. YOU ARE PERFECTLY EXACTLY AS YOU ARE MEANT TO BE IN THIS MOMENT."

Your Memory Tree by Louise Lagerman

"The tree has become a shrine to you and your life; so as I plant the sunny yellow marigolds and place your angel statues around the base of your tree, I feel you, I feel your strength and your love and I know you live on, just as your tree does and will continue to do. I also know we will see you again in another time, another place, another dimension, for love lives on, love never dies; it is too strong and solid, just like your tree."


Creative Commons License
Copyright © 2012 by David Dell Pierce, Jr. Some Rights Reserved. This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. Copy and distribute freely if noncommercially, unchanged, with attribution, and including this notice.